I have always been very aware of what other people think of me. I’ll try to look at myself from other people’s point of view and see how they would evaluate me. Do they like me? Do they think I’m smart? Do they think I’m pretty? Do they want to be my friend? These thoughts would flood my mind and control every move I made. I thought I could mold other’s opinions of me if I was smart, good at sports, funny, attractive, nice, and had a good reputation. I evaluated my self-worth by how others viewed me.

As you may know, this desire to be accepted turns into an addictive cycle. I would try my hardest to gain approval and status, be successful in getting that status, and still feel like it wasn’t enough. I always felt like I could get better grades, be a better soccer player, make my parents prouder, and ultimately gain more acceptance among others.

The peak of this cycle came to a halt when I didn’t get into the college I had planned on going to and when I tore my ACL. Immediately my main avenues I used to gain status, academic and athletic success, were stripped from me. There was a period of time where I felt embarrassed to be seen by others, as I was so concerned with what they were thinking about me.
While I grew up knowing who God was, I kept Him out of this situation. I didn’t know how God desired to know me personally and that He desired for me to see myself the way He does – as His daughter. However, He made this very clear when I started school at UW-Madison.

God used my now-best friend and many others to remind me of my true status as His daughter. I began to actually understand what it meant to follow Christ and to experience joy as His daughter. Above all, through the community around me, I fully trusted that God has already approved of me and that because of the blood of Jesus Christ, He will always see me as His daughter no matter what mistakes I make.

Know that I speak honestly when I say that God revealing these things to me has been the best thing to have happened to me. While I still sometimes find myself seeking wordly approval, I am able to stand firm in the identity and acceptance that God has given me. I live joyfully in His grace and in His abundant love for me – knowing that no amount of status-building will change His view of me.