I think I’ve believed in God my whole life. I grew up in a Christian home; I went to church. I believed in God, but I didn’t know Him. I believed in Him, but I didn’t have a relationship with Him, and it was evident in the way I lived and thought about myself.

Identity is something I’ve always struggled with. Growing up, I tried to place it in being popular and having lots of friends. I tried to place it in being athletic. I tried to place in it being smart. I tried to place it in being beautiful. I tried to place it in all of the above—being “perfect.” No matter how much I tried to place my identity in these things, though, I was never satisfied. I couldn’t achieve the perfect that I wanted to be, and it was tearing my heart apart. I became self-conscious about my looks—sometimes hateful. I placed my worth in school—anything less than 100% wasn’t okay. I longed for approval from others, but even greater I longed for approval from myself. I was my own biggest enemy.

One summer in high school, I finally reached my lowest. I had so much emotional pain in my heart that people around me could tell something was up. On top of my identity-driven issues, I was struggling through the death of my great grandmother, self image, and total confusion about my future. I felt sad, alone, and didn’t know who I was or who I was supposed to be. I was lost, and the weight of all my pain began to crush me…

…until someone lifted it off.

That someone is Jesus Christ. While at a friend’s house one weekend, I was urged to pray to Jesus that I was ready to let go of my pain and give it to Him. To pray for Him to take it from me. And… He did. Almost instantly, I felt a release of it all. God removed the pain from my heart and patched it up with His everlasting joy and never-ending love. The problems weren’t necessarily gone, but someone had stepped in to take and bear them instead. That day I really met Jesus and my life changed. I began to understand how much I mean to Him, all that he has done for me, and who I am in His eyes. I began to get to know a Savior who loves me above all costs.

I’ve always believed in God, but what was missing from my life is that personal relationship with Him. Choosing to engage in one has been, and will forever be, the best, most rewarding, most fulfilling, and most important decision of my life. I no longer feel lost, alone or broken, and I have a never-failing identity as a child of the One True King. It doesn’t mean I don’t have days that are hard, or that I have it all together, but now I know that God’s got me through it all. I can officially say I’m deeply in love with Jesus Christ, and my life will never be the same again.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28