I grew up in a Christian household going to church every Sunday and going to volunteer in the children’s ministry when I could. Life revolved around hobbies like legos and video gaming. I always put myself first, not really anyone else. Did not have a lot of friends growing up and when I really only spent time with them doing what I wanted to do, not what they wanted to do.

My life before Christ was based on accomplishments always wanting to get the best grades or be the best at video games placing my identity in what I had or what I had accomplished. I always felt like I had to have something to offer some sort of skill or be good at something. I always went to Church and felt like I had a connection to God since I have been growing up but I didn’t really know Christ. Placing my identity so much into accomplishments or doing only what I wanted to do pushed me away leaving me lonely. So much pride in myself and my accomplishments and how I compared myself to others was my identity.

Growing up I already felt I knew Jesus, that I knew his gift, but I was at such an age where I did not truly understand the weight of his sacrifice and what I should be doing. Like going to Church, going to bible study, praying. To be Christian has to be your decision. As a kid I had really no say whether or not I went to Church or Bible study. When I got to college I had to make decisions on what I did with my own time no one told me. Figuring out what was fulfilling was really important. My parents asked me what clubs or orgs I would be involved in to meet new people because no one that I knew was going to Whitewater. Thinking about what I did, hobbies , passions and goals of my life Christianity came up. I originally just started going to Church and other Christian orgs because people would be pretty similar to me and have common interests so I could meet people. While that did occur I felt a stronger connection to the Lord.

After attending more events weekly and bible studies weekly I wanted to grow in my faith because I did find a community in cru meeting people that I could relate to and share in faith. I wanted to help get others more involved like bringing people who might be more introverted than me to cru or Church or inviting people who have not heard the Gospel. I also wanted to help others grow in their faith but letting them make the decisions not pressuring them. Even if I don’t share any interests with someone else, asking questions and wanting to learn more about them and their interests makes people feel like they are valued. I am also becoming more forgiving, pushing less people away. Because I used to be so judgemental but after growing in my faith being able to understand the forgiveness God has for me learning that it should be someone else’s decision rather than someone telling them it is what you must do because you are Christian. You don’t do it because you want to be a Christain but because you are and you do it out of your love for the Lord and his love for you.

My life before Christ and after Christ are very different. I grew up in a christian household but it was not until I got to college where I could truly grow in my faith and in my relationship with Jesus. I struggled with empathy, compassion and loneliness and finding value in worldly things. Not to say I have completely eradicated some of these things from my life but I have gotten better and am finding joy in doing so and striving to grow in my faith. I thought I knew what a christian was but that’s not what it is about, it is about knowing Jesus. One bible verse that is very important to me is Ephesians 4:32. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God has forgiven you.” We can get caught up in comparing ourselves against others having to one up each other but there is no joy in that. Forgiveness and helping others grow is much more rewarding, and it also reminds me that I have been forgiven too so I should forgive others as well.