If I could summarize my journey before coming to fully know Christ into one phrase it would be “misplaced identity.” I was born into a Christian home and as a result I knew who God was and that He loved me. I’m sure I accepted Christ as my savior early on in my life, but it took a while for me to decide to take my faith into my own hands. It took me a while to transition from living out my parents’ faith to living out my own faith.

The first step towards grasping my own faith was in middle school. At the time my family was very involved in the church we attended every Sunday. My parents both taught Sunday school to different age groups and were involved in helping to lead the youth group that met on Wednesday nights for middle and high school students. It was during this time that I think I finally grasped what it meant to invite Jesus into your life. So, I made the decision to invite Him into my life as my personal Lord and Savior. I continued to grow in my faith throughout middle school and was even baptized during this time period. To quote the stereotypical Christian phrase, “I was on fire for God.” However, things took a turn when a pastoral change occurred at our church and my parents made the decision to leave. It was then my years of misplaced identity began.

Right off the bat my family began to look for a church, but that stalled when my sister, who was in college down in Oklahoma recommended that we watch this church online that she knew about. So, in high school I would wake up on a Sunday morning, eat my bowl of cereal, and then plop down on the couch and play games on my phone while listening to church on TV. It was not a time of growth towards God, but rather of growth away from Him. I began to place my identity in everything going on in my life. I was involved with the top a cappella choir at my school. I was involved in sports. I was very academically successful. Each of these activities or accomplishments was something I put my identity in frequently, but none more than I did the relationship I got into with a girl during my sophomore year. I didn’t take the time to grow in my faith because I was wrapped up in my other identities. I would have called myself a Christian, but I sure didn’t live like it. I liked being the person who was defined by my various places of identity.

My identity crisis all came to an exploding conclusion during my freshman year of college. It wasn’t long into the first semester when my relationship ended. I was so emotionally invested in that relationship and it just completely wrecked me when I no longer had that main place of identity and comfort. I didn’t want to go out and meet new people or honestly do anything at all. My semester consisted of Netflix and class, and that was it. Eventually I started attending the weekly meetings for a Christian movement on campus, but my involvement wasn’t more than that. I remember breaking down crying one day driving to go get groceries. I just screamed out to God asking what He wanted me to do because I had tried to do it on my own and I was failing. It was then I recommitted my life to Christ and my life has been all the better since.

I participated in the worship band for the freshman takeover week which led to me auditioning for the full-time worship band. I got into that band and it has been an unbelievably huge blessing. Since placing my identity in Christ, I have found all the love and happiness I could have ever dreamed of. I’m thankful for everything that has happened in my life because it all led me to the point I’m at now. It led me to the realization that the only place I can put my identity that will completely fulfill my needs in my identity in Christ. It’s the only identity I need and I’m not turning back.