I grew up in a family where God was mentioned only in a string of curse words. My father was in the military, and we moved from one base to another. From my earliest remembrances, for some reason, I really never felt secure or loved for who I was. I just felt different and wrong. As I grew up, I realized that my father had a problem with alcohol and struggled to deal with his anger. I felt different, incredibly lonely and powerless to change anything.

My life was about survival at home – trying to stay out of trouble and getting my dad angry. While outside the home, I was on a quest to find acceptance and approval.

As I approached my early teen years, life at home was getting more chaotic and unhealthy. Each member of my family was withdrawing into their own worlds to try to cope. No matter how hard I tried, I could not find enough approval or acceptance to fill the emptiness in my heart.

When I was in about the 3rd grade, I had a brief encounter with a Sunday school teacher who I remember being so kind to me. Many years later, at 14, I was invited by a friend to a meeting where I heard another girl share her story. Share about how she had found forgiveness for all of wrong things she had ever done, and that she now knew for 100% certain that she would live with Jesus in heaven someday.

I remember feeling so shocked that anyone would be able to say that they knew for sure that they would go to heaven.

My only hesitation was whether I could really believe that a God as forgiving and loving as He was said to be could really truly exist. Little of my background gave any evidence of such a God. My only examples were Mrs. Howard, the Sunday school teacher from my past, and now the Christians I was meeting through my friend. The way they lived their lives, with kindness, patience and happiness, helped me to decide to trust Jesus for the forgiveness of my sins and ask Him to come into my life and be my true Father.

The circumstances of my life obviously did not change overnight, but I no longer felt as alone as I once had been. And I had hope for a future that could be better, even if at the time I didn’t think I could obtain that better life until I left for college. I was just hanging on until I went off to college, a place where felt I had the freedom to dive into learning about the relationship that I had started back when I was 14. God, as my heavenly Father, has in a real sense re-parented me to get me to realize that who I am is okay with God. He created me with many of the qualities that once made me feel excluded and different. It is wonderful to daily realize that God acts positively on my behalf and wants good for me.

And now I know that I have a secure place in His family as His adopted beloved child – and it is the family for which my heart always hoped.

Ephesians 1:5 says,

5 God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. This is what He wanted to do, and it gave Him great pleasure.