I was the division one athlete going into my first year of college. I had a 4.0 GPA and I was head over heels in love. My testimony is about how I was stripped of these identities and found beauty in a time of brokenness.

Like I said, I played D1 soccer on a scholarship. I started as a freshman, and was one out of a handful in the country to play every game at my position. Academically, I was flourishing in my studies, and I had a fairy tale relationship with my high school boyfriend. My whole life was built on the idea “if I just am good enough at soccer then I am worthy. Or as long as this boy likes me then i’m worth something.” All of my worth was bound up in how I performed as an athlete, student, or even at times being a girlfriend to someone.

This all changed on November 2nd, 2015. In the last game of the season, my head collided with the ground, resulting in a concussion along with other underlying complications. Undergoing multiple procedures, intensive therapy, an emergency trip to the ER, all the while struggling to keep a long distance relationship alive, I was defeated, hurting, and lost. My career as an athlete was over.

Everything I had built myself up on had vanished. I felt worthless. If I couldn’t leave a dark room how could I be an athlete, and if I couldn’t be an athlete how could I afford school, and without my boyfriend who would love me. I felt helpless and broken.

I had tested it all, the prestige of being an athlete, being a good student, and having a relationship. In the end they all fell apart. Athletics and school were temporary. The boy who I thought was perfect was just as broken as me. I finally dropped to my knees and cried out to the Lord, “God if what I’ve heard about you is true and that your Love. Help me.”

Then, Jesus mercifully stepped in. To the world I had become nothing but Jesus saw me as everything. He saw me as beautiful even when broken, and He promises to make us new. I started spending time in the bible and reading His truth.

I feel most people believe that you have to be perfect to be a Christian, but it’s quite the opposite. He wants you to come when your broken and hurting, frustrated with questions. Jesus came to be there for the broken hearted. If you feel defeated, remember who Jesus is. He came to be perfect so that you wouldn’t have to. He already won so you don’t have to keep trying to prove your worth.

My identity is no longer tied to the things of this world that will fall apart but in him. I am who he says I am. I am a chosen daughter and he will never forsake me.