For as long as I can remember, I was very content of my life as a child. I had loving Christian parents who were wealthy enough to provide many things that I desired. I was one of the top students in my school, and I got along with everyone well. Many friends envied what I had, and I enjoyed it. I lived a carefree life with no worries or concerns.

At age 12, my life took a drastically different turn when I came to the US with my sister for better education. We lived with my uncle’s family, which created a lot of struggles during the first semester. The relationship between my uncle and my parents back in Korea worsened due to monetary reasons. As a result, my uncle and I started to have conflict with each other, and our words and actions toward each other became more and more violent. Meanwhile at school, I was facing other challenges. My sister and I were the only Asians in the school and the challenges of being a person from a different culture and language created much misunderstanding. Whenever I saw a crowd of classmates, I no longer saw friends to hang out with but people that I had to deal with, and I started to withdraw from my peers. In my solitude, my anger and bitterness grew to the point where I started to punch walls and other objects.

Things started to change when my sister and I moved to an American host family at the beginning of the 7th grade. They taught me so much about the American culture. Through their help, I was able to open up to my classmates and adjust to school life in America. A year later, we moved in with a second American family. Through the next five years with them, I was greatly influenced by their Godly lifestyle. For example, they would read the Bible for 30 minutes every night. At first, this devotional time was difficult for my sister, and we struggled with mispronunciation and misunderstanding the Scripture due to the language difference. However, this regular study of Scripture, along with the Godly examples that my host family set, gradually bettered my understanding of the truth of Christianity. I learned that God is not just a distant and imaginary being, but a personal God who desires to reach out to me. Because I grew up in a Christian family, I already knew that Christians believe that through the death and resurrection of Christ, their wrongdoings could be forgiven and they would enter Heaven as the children of God if they trusted Jesus to pay for their sins. However, I did not really believe this truth with my heart, nor did I commit my life to it. During the time with the second host family, my understanding grew to the point where I accepted the fact that Christ covers my past wrongdoings and shame.

The most noticeable change in my life following this decision was  my time in solitude. I started to think and converse with God. I did not feel anger but peace. Bitterness turned into understanding and compassion. The impression of the Holy Spirit became clearer whenever my second host family started to read the Bible together at night. God was no longer a distant, imaginary being, but  my best Friend. These changes did not occur in one night. It took years, and there were countless times that I felt like I was reliving that awful first semester. However, through God’s grace and persistence, by the end of high school, I had many friends who I could be comfortable with and families who loved me. Most importantly I had peace and joy in my heart.

Looking back and reflecting on my life, I cannot thank God enough for that first semester. Even though it was hard, it changed who I am. It was indeed a painful time, but if it wasn’t for that pain, I still would have believed that the world revolves around me. If it wasn’t for that pain, I would not have known what the true peace feels like.

“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:7