Growing up in a strong Christian home made me never second-guess my faith. My parents were both missionaries and served in many countries before I was born. Hearing their stories and how God impacted them made me want to follow in their footsteps. I attended Spencer Lake Youth Camp for a few years as well as went to Sunday School and Youth Group. This was normal for me. Even when I was little and didn’t fully understand everything, I knew that Jesus died for me, and I wanted him in my heart. I thought with Jesus on my side, there wasn’t anything that I could not conquer. For most of my life, these walls to break down were only everyday tasks. This all changed though when I was 15, and I experienced an event in my life that changed me forever.

My dad had a cardiac arrest- a sudden, unexpected, loss of heart function. He was taken by ambulance to the hospital. My mom and brothers followed the ambulance while I stayed at home with my best friend who was planning to stay the night. Being in complete shock, we both sobbed and prayed. At this moment, I had no idea what was going to happen to my dad, but I felt God’s presence as if he was holding me in his arms and telling it was going to be okay.

For a while, things seemed to be improving but after months of being in the ICU, my family was faced with the hardest decision of our lives. My dad was in a coma for months and now we had to choose whether or not to take him off life support.

My dad was in hospice for about a week, and he was breathing all on his own. All I could think about was maybe there was still that last chance where he’ll just open his eyes and wake up. That sadly wasn’t the case. My family stayed over every night to spend every last moment with our father. We even brought our dog whom my dad loved so much. Many of our family members, friends, and church elders came to visit, pray, and say one final goodbye.

I remember the last night in the hospital when I was with my brothers and my mom. We all noticed that my dad’s breathing was slowing down. We went around my dad’s bed and stood there in silence. I believe that we all experienced God at that moment. It was so powerful and beautiful. We were all at peace. It was then the morning of May 3rd when I was awoken by my mom when she said that my dad took his last breath. With no tears left to cry, my family just hugged each other.

A few weeks after my dad’s funeral, my mom and I were moving some of his things around at our house. I came across his Bible which was filled with his notes on every page of almost every reading passage. I was just flipping through it, amazed because I never really looked at it before. On one of the last few pages, I came across something written by my dad. It said: “God never takes you Home too soon.” I then fell to my knees and praised Jesus.

I miss my dad more than anything. He was my best friend. Losing him will affect me for the rest of my life. However, I believe that without God, I would not have been able to find the strength to continue living my life. Having God in my life allows me to lean on Him in a time of need but also in rejoice. I still do though have moments where I shut down and feel like I can’t handle the grief. But then God tightly wraps me in His arms and tells that I am so loved. God is continuously taking my pain away and healing me. He is there when I feel the most alone, and reassures me that everything will be okay. Having a relationship with Christ allows me to find peace and joy in a situation of sorrow and loss, and I know that I will see my dad again someday. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.