Do you ever ask the question, “How can anyone see hope from tragedy?” This is a question that over years of contemplation, I’ve found an answer to.

I come from a family where both of my parents came from a traditional church setting which by their admission had a small impact on their lives. At a young age, when my parents were going through marital struggles, they were invited to a bible study through a family friend. It was there that both were introduced to what an authentic relationship with Jesus was. My dad took interest while my mom did not. Eventually, marital struggles led to the point where my parents finally decided to divorce. My dad took the divorce very hard and felt broken by it. Soon after, he placed his faith in Christ which would forever change his life. Even at a young age, I could tell the difference between both parents as my dad was growing in his faith and my mom admittedly did not have an interest.

While going to different churches every other Sunday, I could tell at a young age that those at my dad’s church were different than the traditional church from where I began. They clearly had a greater interest in the person of Jesus. This was what I sincerely wanted. My dad’s church was doing a big outreach that highlighted the reality of the brevity of life in this world compared to eternity, so at the end of this event at the age of 10, I placed my faith in Jesus. I had recognized my wrongdoing and the brokenness in the world around me and wanted to place my hope and future in Christ.
Even while placing my faith in Christ, many challenges followed. While I had no doubt that both loved me, growing up with divorced parents was the norm that had a negative impact on my life. My broken home slowly led to frustration and anger issues over continual family tensions to the point that I needed to see a counselor at a young age. The broken home also led me to lacking trust, not only in my parents, but many others around me. Because I couldn’t trust the intentions of family members, I questioned the intentions of everyone which also led to disrespecting leadership.

Two specific events from my broken home had a big impact. The first was a dilemma about moving to another state with my mom. Both parents were remarried and my mom and stepdad were moving to Ohio and I had to decide at the age of 15 whether to move with them or stay in Wisconsin. Ultimately, I chose to move to Ohio. I still remember my dad dropping me off for the last time before we moved and telling me that he would no longer be able to hold us accountable for our faith and that it was our own. Initially, I didn’t think this was a big deal, however, as high school years progressed, the desire for popularity, acceptance, and academic success soon overshadowed my relationship with Christ. This continued until the second major event.

During a normal day at school in 11th grade, my sister and I were unexpectedly called out of class and were told that our mom while at work had a brain aneurysm. Not knowing what this meant, we were rushed to the hospital. When we arrived, our worst fears were realized in that my mom had passed away. That day, my entire world was turned upside down. I was put into a state of shock that I had never experienced. In addition to my mom’s death, we soon moved back to Wisconsin for my 3rd high school experience in 2 states.

I was frustrated and felt helpless to my circumstances. It was during the months to follow that I realized that the things of this world will only last for a moment in the light of eternity. I realized I needed to be placing my all in Christ and investing in eternity instead of worrying and striving after earthly riches and pleasures that will soon pass.

I may never be able to answer the question: “Why did God take my mom at such an early age?” But one thing I can tell you is that it woke me up to the reality that we are all sinful and that sin deserves a penalty. Not only will we all die, but we are all dead spiritually. Every year we are given is not a right, but a gift and opportunity to be put in a right relationship with Jesus for forgiveness of sins and payment for that eternal death and separation we all deserve. While I know my family like others is not perfect, because I now know Christ, I am a part of a greater family, God’s family, with a heavenly father who is always fulfilling and ever present. I can rely and trust in Him even during tough times, knowing that he is faithful and will see me through difficult times. This gives me incredible hope and joy to see beyond tragic circumstances as I live a life for Him and look forward to eternity with Him.