I grew up knowing the basics of what a relationship with God looked like and what a normal “Christian” routine was- going to church, praying before meals, etc. My parents always set a good example for me by living out their values and teaching me more about who God is. Though I grew in knowledge and understanding from everything they had taught me, I hadn’t truly believed or experienced it. I didn’t understand God’s love, so I tried to rely on others to make me feel valued. But other people didn’t always come through, which made me feel a pain and loneliness in the relationships I had. I went through some tough friendships and doubted my worth because of them. I didn’t exactly know who to turn to, or what to do about it.
However, this changed when I truly experienced God’s goodness and truth at a Christian summer camp in middle school. It was there that I saw my peers worshipping and serving the Lord with their lives, which made me decide to give my everything to God. I realized that I need Jesus in my life because of my brokenness and that He is the one I can always rely on. He is my Savior, redeemer, and friend. I also discovered that the love I experienced at summer camp was just a small reflection of the unconditional love that God has for me. Truly knowing God’s love in my life has helped me strive to love others better and to feel less anxious about my relationships with other people. God has shown me that when I rely on Him, He will place people and situations in my life to encourage and bless me; I am not alone. Although I still struggle sometimes with trying to earn love from others and from my own accomplishments, God continually reminds me of His presence and power in my life so that I can fix my eyes on Him instead of myself.
This past year, God has been showing me that He brings healing, justice, and restoration in my life, in the lives around me, in broken societal systems, and in the world as a whole. He has shown me that I must humble myself to allow Him to work through me as his “vessel.”
2 Corinthians 4:7 says, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.” I am the jar of clay, and my faith in Jesus is the treasure that I hold inside of me; that analogy is how I want to live my life. Wherever God decides to lead me in this lifetime, I am fully committed to following Him and submitting to His will because He has continually shown me that that is where true power and restoration come from. It is not my will, but His alone that will be done.