Since beginning high school, I desired to have a successful job that would earn me a lot of money and status. I have always been interested in science and health care and value caring for and helping those in need. After exploring different career options, I decided I wanted to become a physician assistant (PA). This profession fit in with my career goals and values, so entering college, I was determined to do everything I could to pursue this dream. My freshman year at UW-Madison, I quickly became obsessed with my academic performance. I got involved with Cru early in the year but studying at the library and attending other organizations took a higher precedence. My faith took the back burner as I focused on my future career.

As the year continued, I struggled with comparing myself to my peers who were science majors also pre-PA and this comparison caused me to try harder to get ahead and feel personal accomplishment. This thought process consumed me for the rest of my freshman year continuing into my sophomore year when I ended the first semester filled with nothing but stress and anxiety. It was at Cru Winter Conference that I was confronted with my wrong pattern of thinking and God broke me to show me that I don’t have to work tirelessly to feel successful and worthy in my peer’s eyes, but I am already seen as this by God because of Jesus’ death on the cross that saved me from my sin. The message of the gospel finally sunk in and made me realize my salvation is not only a part of who I am, it is my whole identity and should influence every area of my life.

Cru Winter Conference caused me to start thinking about my future through a gospel-centered lens. Soon after, I decided to go on a summer mission to Tanzania. While there, we taught high school students about the gospel and shared testimonies of how God’s love has transformed my and my team’s lives. Because of this, my understanding and love for the gospel message was revitalized and God gave me a new passion for teaching others about His love and plan. At the end of the trip, I was introduced to the idea of STINT—a year long international internship with Cru that involves sharing the gospel with college-age students on university campuses.

Before going to Tanzania, I never would have given STINT a second thought as I was set on PA school and this had been my focus all of college thus far. As school began, God still didn’t let the thought of going on STINT leave my head. For months, I wrestled with the decision to pursue STINT or build my resume for PA school. I wrestled between the comfort of knowing what my future would hold and the uncertainty of pushing back my plans and letting God have control. I believe God has given me two passions: to be a missionary for the gospel overseas and serve his people as a physician assistant. But instead of feeling like I must choose one over the other, I have decided to pursue going on STINT before applying to PA schools. If God has taught me one thing over the course of the past year and a half, it’s that the gospel of Jesus Christ is worth it. It’s worth my comfort, it’s worth my time, it’s worth moving overseas, it’s worth my future, and it’s worth my life.